


After the Rain

by AricaZorel



Series: All or Nothing [4]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Biotics (Mass Effect), Bullying, Choices, Consequences, Element Zero (Mass Effect), F/M, Growing Up, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Martial Arts, N7 Day, Relationship(s), Self-Doubt, Support Group, Trauma, next time - Freeform, the alenkos are awesome parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AricaZorel/pseuds/AricaZorel
Summary: Kaidan Alenko's journey from childhood to his fateful posting on the Normandy. Biotics. Overcoming ignorance. Self-discovery. And finding your own way.~~~~Gavin Alenko said, “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were. And besides…you learned an important lesson.”Kaidan turned to regard his father skeptically as he leaned against the railing. Fiddling with the beer, he asked, “And that would be?”“Even the right choices have consequences.”The younger Alenko looked dejectedly at his beer. “I’m not sure that makes me feel any better.”Gavin took a swig of his own beer. “It wasn’t meant to. But it’s something to remember next time.”Kaidan griped his right side where he’d been injured. It still ached a month later. “Not sure about a ‘next time.’ I messed this one up pretty bad.”His father gave him that knowing smile. “Son, if there’s one thing I’d put money on, it’s that you’ll have a next time. And it’ll be bigger than you can imagine.”The engines of an Alliance ship roared overhead, traveling towards the spaceport. Kaidan glanced up to watch it’s retreating silhouette. “I hope you’re right, Dad.”
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Original Character(s), Kaidan Alenko/Rahna, kaidan alenko/female original character
Series: All or Nothing [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848730





	After the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> the title for this fic comes from the Nickelback song, "After the Rain"

_All of your life there's rambling, scurrying  
Take your time rather than hurry  
Never too late to write the rest of your story  
Remember to breathe or else you're gonna be sorry_

Even before Kaidan Alenko was born his life was a challenge. Of course he didn’t know that until much later. In 2151 his mother Kaitlyn Alenko had been in Singapore visiting family when the accident happened. “The accident” as it had become known later was a massive exposure of eezo to people at the Singapore International Spaceport. Kaitlyn had simply gone there to catch a flight home to Vancouver, Canada. It wasn’t until months later that children born after that ‘accident’ would face a 30% chance of developing cancer. Another statistic not widely spread told of kids who developed biotics. At that point biotics was a foreign term to humanity. But for Kaidan Alenko it would be one that threatened to define him.

It wasn’t until 2158 that humans learned the true potential of biotics and 10% of those exposed to eezo showed biotic ability. But long before that revelation when Kaidan was still in his mother’s womb, the only concern of his parents was that he would live. If he survived till birth, would he be cancer-free? if he survived beyond that, what would happen to him? Would he suffer any lingering effects of his mother's exposure to eezo or would he be perfectly normal? What kind of life would their son have? What could they do to ensure that no matter what, he had a life at all?

Kaitlyn and Gavin Alenko were not ones to give up easily. Early on when they discovered what could happen to those exposed to eezo, they searched for anyone and everyone that could help. They refused to give up on their child when it was advised to terminate the pregnancy. It had been a struggle to conceive to start with and there was no way they would give up on their baby.

With so-called experts around every corner, there was no shortage of people claiming they could help. What the Alenkos wanted though was solid evidence. They didn't want experimental treatments. They didn't want old wives tales. They didn't want people who knew nothing to have a say in Kaidan’s life. The Alenkos were practical and realistic people who only wanted to give the best to their child. They had waited until Kaitlyn had her doctorate and Gavin was established in the Alliance military before conceiving Kaidan. If they put that much thought into their marriage and conceiving him, they could do no less in assuring him a real life.

Kaitlyn made all of her normal checkups plus some as recommended by her doctors. She did everything a normal mother would and more to ensure that her pregnancy would be as normal as possible. Gavin was as supportive as he could be, making every attempt to attend each and every appointment. If he could not be there in person because of his current assignment, he was there via vid call. Not one person could convince the Alenkos that Kaidan would be anything other than alive when it was finally time for him to be born.

They both knew full well that having a child exposed to eezo would be a struggle. But with everything else they had faced together, parenthood would not be something they ran from. Both Kaitlyn and Gavin were incredibly stubborn, strong-willed, and fully intended on passing that on to their child. With all the risks involved with birthing child expose to eezo in utero plus the initial struggles to conceive in the first place, they were more than aware of the dangers involved but chose their son over the fear of what if’s.

With all the high-profile media exposure after the Singapore incident, the Alenkos did their best to exist in peace away from tabloid reports, news hounds, and quack medical professionals. Their son would be free to choose his own path, not one dictated by the media, society’s fears, or anyone else. He would have the right to choose how his own story would unfold.

~~~~~

  
_Life's no race, it's a companion  
Always face with reckless abandonment  
A ticket to life as my mother once told me  
Stick with your pride and you're gonna be lonely (gonna be lonely)_

Kaidan Michael Alenko was born September 11th, 2151 in Vancouver, Canada. He was born without any cancerous growths much to his parents relief. They were still fully aware that there could be other complications later but for now they would take the small blessings they were given. Aside from the obvious traces of eezo exposure, his doctors said that he was a perfectly normal healthy baby boy. With the difficulties that faced them, Gavin and Kaitlyn came to the decision that Kaidan would be their only child.

Kaidan’s early years were spent in relative normalcy with no signs of biotic ability. His parents took him to the doctor for his wellness checkups and then some just in case. Occasionally a doctor would approach them offering up some sort of experimental treatment to reverse the process or to make him “normal.” The Alenkos always refused. To them Kaidan _was_ normal; he was just born under extraordinary circumstances. What he decided to do with any biotics that manifested would be his choice. No one would make that choice for him.

As Kaidan grew older, more became known about biotics and exposure to eezo. More “what if’s” began cropping up. More people began to fear biotics in those who possess those abilities. Gavin, not one to stand around and let a problem hit him first, began to contemplate how Kaidan could prepare for such adversity in life. As a soldier, he knew how to handle problems head on, except this time it concerned his son. This problem would creep up on them like some camouflaged enemy combatant. He refused to call Kaidan's prospective biotics anything negative. Instead he chose to look at it as simply another ability his son had or _could_ have. He began to look for ways his son could use these prospective new abilities to his advantage or simply to help others. To use them as a tool not as a disadvantage.

Kaitlyn agreed that preparing Kaidan for the reality of having biotics was a necessity. Slowly they begin to talk to their son about what it would be like to have abilities that no one else had. They equated it to having an aptitude for math or music or sports. Not everyone had the same kind of abilities. Unfortunately, some people were jealous or afraid of those that had something they didn't have themselves. As a psychologist, Kaitlyn hope that this would help prepare her son mentally for what she was sure would happen in the future. Humans in general fear what they do not understand. Biotics would be no different.

~~~~~

_Everybody says that life takes patience  
But nobody wants to wait  
Everybody says we need salvation  
But nobody wants to be saved_

Kaidan was 7 going on 8 as he liked to point out when his first biotic episode occurred. _“Biotic episode.”_ That’s what the media and the so-called experts had termed the first time an eezo exposed child showed any biotic abilities. His parents had explained to him at length what he might experience as well as they could to a child of such a young age. He knew that he was different. He had since he was old enough to notice that some people looked at him differently.

No one ever came out and said anything. It was always a look of sadness. Pity was what his mother had explained. His father never bothered explaining it except to say they didn’t understand and didn’t want to. Kaidan knew he didn’t want to be treated differently and so if someone looked at him that way he avoided them.

His friends didn’t regard him as different, not really. He supposed they knew his parents talked to him a little differently but still treated him as a normal boy of 7 almost 8.

It was a late summer day in August when he was playing with the other children after school. A playdate he had heard the parents call it. Whatever it was, he enjoyed the days they went to the park not too far from the high-rise apartment his parents currently lived it. His dad was stationed at Alliance headquarters for the time being and seeing the Seattle-Vancouver megaplex each morning was exciting. But chasing other kids through the park was fun too.

That was until another kid, not invited to the playdate, began yelling at one of his friends. The parents didn’t notice at first. He and his friends tried to ignore it. The boy was a couple of years old and tall for his age. Kaidan had seen him a school and knew he was a troublemaker. The older boy was picking on the shortest kid in their group, calling him names and saying he could beat him up. Finally, one of girls went to their parents and told them what was happening. The parents told the older boy to leave them alone. That worked for all of about 5 minutes.

The older boy disappeared, and they went back to playing chase. That was until the boy jumped out of the bushes and tackled his chosen prey to the ground. Kaidan’s friend tried to get up but his assailant weighed too much. He tried to scream for help, but his mouth was covered. The other children began screaming at the older kid but to no avail. The girl from before went for help as Kaidan remembered his father’s words.

_Don’t pick a fight. Don’t go looking for trouble. But if you find yourself unable to avoid it, you finish it. You help those that can’t help themselves._

In that moment, Kaidan Michael Alenko made the decision to help his friend. He stepped towards the bully and said, “Leave him alone. Or else!”

“Or else what?”

“Or else what? You’ll call your soldier daddy for help?”

“No. You’ll have to fight me.”

“You? You don’t know how,” the bully said releasing the smaller boy and began stalking towards Kaidan.

“You’re just a bully. Why can’t you leave us alone? We didn’t do anything to you!” Kaidan replied as he backed. He felt scared. The boy was bigger than him, but he couldn’t back down. Not now.

“I don’t have to have a reason to beat you and your friends to a pulp,” the boy sneered as he raised a fisted hand as if to punch Kaidan.

As the boy swung, Kaidan held up his hands in front of him and shut his eyes. Instead of being hit, he heard a scream and a thud. Opening his eyes he saw the boy laying 15 feet from where he had been. His friends murmured as the boy looked back at Kaidan with terror.

“You’re a freak!” he cried and then ran away as the parents ran towards them.

“That was cool!

“He got what he deserved!”

“You’re glowing blue!”

“How come you didn’t tell use you had powers?”

His friends voices blurred together as the raised voice of the parents slowly over shadowed them. How had he done that? Was that biotics? Was he in trouble? Would his friends hate him? Would their parents let him still play with their kids? Was he a freak? What would his parents think?

“Kaidan.” His mother’s voice cut through the noise.

He looked up at her, her hand extended towards him. He glanced back at his friends and their parents. No one seemed scared exactly. Just confused and concerned. But the bully’s words echoed in his mind. _Freak._ He wasn’t one, was he?

“Kaidan its time to go, sweetie,” his mom said as she took his hand and gently tugged him in the direction of their skycar.

“But mom—”

“We can explain everything to your friends once we know you are okay.”

He nodded. She was right. She was always right. Was he though? He had always thought of himself as normal but now…

He wasn’t glowing blue any longer and no one was yelling at him, just staring.

As they walked away, he knew his mom wanted to say more. She always wanted until no one else could hear them. As they approached the skycar, she said gently, “Kaidan, I know we’ve told you about this. About it possibly happening. There was no way to be sure about you having biotic abilities until…well, until we saw them…”

He stopped walking. She looked down at him as he asked, “Does this mean I’m a freak like that boy said?”

His mom dropped to her knees and hugged him. “Oh, no, sweetie. You are not a freak. And whatever people say about you from this day forward, just remember what your dad has told you. People don’t always want to understand what scares them but that is the wrong way to handle things like that. They are simply scared, and you are just going to have to show them that there’s nothing to be scared of.”

“But what if _I’m_ scared?”

“It’s okay to be scared. But you are strong, Kaidan, and you have people who care about you. We will work through this together. I promise. You will _never_ be alone.”

Kaidan hugged his mom as he decided that no matter what anyone else thought of him, he would do his best. He was _not_ a freak and would never think of himself that way. He was scared. But just because other people gave into their fear didn’t mean he had to. And he wouldn’t.

~~~~~

  
_The light in the tunnel is just another runaway train  
The blue skies we wait on  
Are gonna have to come after the rain_

People were afraid. People hated them. People lied.

Those were the first lessons Kaidan learned on his own about biotics. He had first flared when he was 7. Now two years later he saw how people looked at him when they thought he was not looking. They glared at him; they stared at him with pity; they wished he didn’t have his abilities. Sometimes he even though they wished he didn’t exist.

His parents were blunt with what his abilities were and where they came from. They had told him how they didn’t want him to think he was different, that he was still a just a normal boy. Just having abilities that no one else had. They said it was like being good at sports or music or math. Not everyone had the same abilities.

Maybe they were right. But not every kid could throw things across their room with their mind when they were mad.

And mad was what Kaidan Alenko was. More accurately, he was angry. Why did he have to be born ‘ _special’_? Why did he have to have biotics? Why he have to be one of the ones who lived to have biotics?

He knew he should be thankful that he hadn’t developed cancer or other complications like the others his parents had mentioned. He should be grateful that he had parents who didn’t treat him like a freak and didn’t allow others to do it either. He should be but in that moment he wasn’t. He was a 9 year old boy mad at the world for something he had no control over.

He wanted to blame his parents. His mom to be specific. She had been the one visiting her family in Singapore and been exposed to eezo. If she hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have been born as he had been. If she hadn’t been there…

How could he blame her though? She hadn’t done it on purpose. It had been an accident. It wasn’t like she knew it would happen. Like she would have wanted to be exposed to eezo on purpose…

He couldn’t blame her or his dad. But that didn’t take the anger away.

People still treated him like he was a freak. But he wasn’t. He didn’t want to be. He could be better than those that looked at him funny, those that called him names, those that chose not to understand his abilities. He could be better. Right?

He father had always be a stickler for discipline and the truth. He had always wanted Kaidan to know the truth of what caused his abilities, but he also insisted he learn to control them. With humanity still discovering how biotics worked and how to harness their potential, Kaidan was left to guess how to do what his father wanted.

He closed his eyes. He could be angry. He could be afraid. But he didn’t have to let those feelings control him. He could learn to control his biotics. Somehow. Maybe he would get so good at controlling them, he could help other kids. Some day. He could teach himself first. Then he could show others that there was nothing to be afraid of or to be hated. But first he would have to learn that for himself.

~~~~~

_Spend your days happy and grateful  
Avoid the taste of wanting and wasteful  
Every good thing will come in moderation  
Envy and greed will only lead to frustration_

“You need to have patience, Kaidan. With yourself and with others,” his father said patiently to his 11-year-old son.

Kaidan glanced over at him. “But why do _I_ have to when everyone else doesn’t?”

“Because you _aren’t_ them. You are the one who actually has to live with your biotics. They don’t,” Gavin Alenko replied with a nod. “You have to live with the consequences of how you use them. They don’t.”

Kaidan made a face as he looked out at the Pacific Ocean. Research was progressing on how human biotics worked, how to control their abilities, and what the exposure to eezo might mean for the future. At that moment he didn’t care. He was frustrated.

Every time something went wrong, it was blamed on the biotic. The biotic did it. His abilities make him deviant. He wasn’t right in the head. He’ll use his abilities to hurt others because he can. It wasn’t true but the rumor mill churned out gossip at an alarming rate. His parents had equated that to what had happened shortly after first contact. All aliens were the enemy, something to be feared and hated, not to be trusted. Now aliens were common place.

“Yeah, well that doesn’t make it any better,” Kaidan replied bitterly. “You don’t have to worry about being accused of something that isn’t true because of the way you were born.”

“Maybe,” Gavin said as he followed his son’s gaze to the ocean highlighted by the moon light. “But I do know what it’s like to be accused of doing something I didn’t do because of the way I believe.”

Kaidan titled his head in his dad’s direction. “What are you talking about?”

“I served the Alliance for a long time, Kaidan, both before and after you were born,” he answered. “I still serve in a civilian capacity as an instruction and consultant. That you know. What you don’t know is _why_ I left active service and what that action made people think.”

Gavin knew he now had his son’s full attention when the younger Alenko turned to regard him curiously. He had always been up front about everything with Kaidan except this one thing. The boy already had enough to worry about; the problems of his father shouldn’t be one of them.

“Why did you—”

“I took early retirement because of you, Kaidan,” Gavin said, looking directly at his son. “I retired just weeks before the First Contact War began. When your biotics manifested for the first time, I knew that me being away on long term assignments wasn’t going to cut it anymore. I couldn’t leave you and your mother alone. Not with how people were viewing biotics. I wanted to be close. To protect you both but to also support you in any way I could. I don’t know how well I’ve accomplished that, but I’d like to give myself credit for trying.”

“But what does that have to do with people thinking you did something wrong?”

“People thought I had insider information and wanted to leave the service so I wouldn’t have to fight the aliens. Later they accused me of being an alien sympathizer because I suggested asking for aid in understanding biotics from those same aliens.”

“But the Turians and Asari aren’t enemies any more…And they _do_ know more about biotics than we do,” Kaidan noted pragmatically.

His father chuckled. “Keep that sense of pragmatism, son. It will do you good later in life.”

Kaidan began to say something when his father cut him off, “You are the only one who can and should decide how to live your life. That is a huge responsibility. Should you listen to those around you? Yes. Should you let them influence your decisions? _Only_ if they have earned your trust.”

“But how do you know?”

“Experience, I’m afraid, is the only way you’re going to get an answer to that question, son,” Gavin said gravely. “The actions you take will determine the course of your life and who stays in your live. The way you conduct yourself, matters. Later, when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity. It _matters_ , Kaidan.”

Kaidan considered his dad’s words as the waves crashed off in the distance. Could he do that? So many people were yelling about how biotics should be treated, what they should be allowed to do, should they be sent to special facilities, were they still human. Could he still chose his own path? Could he do it in a way that mattered to himself but also to others in a positive way?

“Kaidan, there is something else. Your mother found a support group for biotic children and their families,” Gavin offered slowly. “She wanted to give you the option of joining it. Even if it’s just on a trial basis. She doesn’t want you to feel isolated, and we know we can only do so much for you. We can understand only so much.”

He glanced up at his father and then back to the ocean. “What do you think?”

“I think your mother is a very smart woman and knows what she is talking about,” he answered. “And the choice is up to you but I—”  
“What?”

“I know you get angry with the way things are and what people say,” Gavin noted. “Your biotics flare more when you are angry. I thought that maybe enrolling in a martial arts class might help.”

“Marital arts? Dad, you’ve already taught me Alliance hand-to-hand-combat.”

“Yes. But that was for self-defense. This would be not only for your physical well-being but also your _mental_ well-being,” Gavin explained as he pulled out a pamphlet from his back pocket. “It could help you connect with your biotics more, maybe…”

Kaidan took the pamphlet and regarded his dad skeptically. “You think karate is going to help control my biotics?”

“Aikido actually,” his dad explained. “And at the very least it will help with mental discipline…You need something, son. Your mom and I are trying. We really are. I know you are too. Just think about the support group and joining an aikido class. It’s your choice.”

Kaidan nodded as he glanced from the pamphlet back to the ocean. His parents were trying. They were doing more for him than some other parents were for their biotic kids. And if his dad had given up his career in the Alliance to make sure he had the opportunity to choose how to live his life, how could he not at least consider what his parents were offering now?

He could wish to be normal and envy those that were, or he could make the best of what he had been given. In that moment, looking over the Pacific Ocean, Kaidan chose to actively choose his future instead of allowing other to make that choice for him. His life would be his own.

~~~~~

  
_Choose your friends, carefree and kindly  
Choose your words, careful and wisely  
Always be there to lend a comforting shoulder  
_One will be there to share a day when you're older (a day when you're older)

A year with the support group his mom had found and a year of Aikido that his dad a suggested had served Kaidan well. He had found that he wasn’t alone. Others were like him. Even though the media and other people acted as if biotics were an aberration and would disappear soon, he knew the truth of it. He was real, and he was here to stay. So were the others he had met. Some of them becoming friends.

There were only a few biotics around the Vancouver area that he could see and interact with in-person. The others were spread all over the world. Vid calls were common for the support group to use, and he even ended up developing long-distance friendships with some of them. They were like every other teenager, just with biotics. They joked, played games, complained about school, disliked rules adults made, and worried about if their crush liked them. All these things made it more bearable and were even encouraged to be talked about in the group.

In an interesting turn of events, Kaidan had mentioned randomly that he had been taking Aikido for about a year. That had piqued the interest of some of the other kids. He explained that it had helped him focus more and control his biotics a little better. He didn’t mention the part where his father had been right about it the whole time. They didn’t need to know that.. What impressed him the most was that other kids began copying his involvement in marital arts. The support group sponsor even noted that it had become a positive thing for most of the kids, giving them something to focus on.

Kaidan mentioned it to his parents one day and wondered why the other kids copied him when he had mentioned it only once.

“Because they see how its helped you,” his mother replied simply.

“But—”

“You found something that has helped you control your biotics more and that has let you have more control over your life as a whole, Kaidan,” Kaitlyn explained. “You are calm and accepting of your biotics. _Mostly_. You aren’t fighting with your anger. I know it’s still there, and it always will be, but you’ve found an outlet for it.”

“But I’m just a teenager. It’s not like I have an advanced level in it.”

“Not yet,” his dad chimed it. “You keep at it and your instructor thinks you could one day. But more than that, you are an inspiration to the other kids. They hear all the biotic crap people ignorantly throw around and here is a kid their own age finding a way to help control his abilities. How could they not want to copy that?”

“Dad—”

“You’re an example, son. Whether you want to be or not. You’ve shown those kids—your friends—that they can find their own way. That biotics don’t have to dictate every single aspect of their lives.”

“That seems a lot to—”

“Kaidan, your dad is simply proud of you. But more than that, you need to keep doing these things for _yourself_. As a byproduct, others will see what you are accomplishing, and you’ll be an example that way,” his mom said.

He looked at his mother skeptically as his dad added, “Who knows? Maybe one day you can teach others how to control their own biotics?”

Kaidan snorted. “Me? A teacher? Yeah, right.”

~~~~~

_Everybody says that life takes patience  
But nobody wants to wait  
Everybody says we need salvation  
But nobody wants to be saved  
The light in the tunnel is just another runaway train_

“What if they don’t work? Or they are just as bad as the first ones?” Kaidan asked, anger and helplessness evident in his tone.

“Is that what you’re really worried about son?” Gavin asked sensing more was bothering him than

the announcement that a new biotic implant was available. Everyone was pushing for biotics to be implanted with the newer models. But no one seemed to take in to account how the teenagers being pressured into undergoing the procedure felt about it.

“Dad, I’ve seen the news reports. My friends talk about it all the time. One of our group…He was older and was fitted with an L1…He’s a vegetable now,” Kaidan said. “I don’t want to end up like him. None of us do.”

“There’s been an incredible amount of research and refinement with this new implant,” Gavin said. “But I won’t lie to you, there is a risk. But Kaidan, there is a risk with that very thing we do.”

“Why can’t just having biotics under control be enough? The aikido has helped. I’m 16 now. I haven’t hurt anyone. It’s under control. Why do they want us to do this?”

His father looked away as he gathered his thoughts. “There is no good answer to that. And I know that is not what you want to hear. People are always afraid of what they don’t understand. I know I’ve told you that most of your life. It’s no excuse. There should be no excuse, but people are still just people, son.”

“But why— _why_ do I have to do something just because they’re afraid? The Aikido helped me. I control my biotics. It wasn’t just for them. It was for _me_ …”

“I wish I could give you an answer that made sense, Kaidan, but I can’t. All I can do is make sure you have all the facts in front of you so you can make the choice. Your mother is digging up all the relevant information now for you. It’s her way of trying to help.”

Kaidan looked at his father in disbelief. “So I can make the choice? You and mom aren’t going to make me do it?”

“We have _never_ forced you to do anything concerning your biotics have we son?” Gavin asked.

Kaidan shook his head.

“Why would we start now? You’re a young man. You are the one who has to live with your biotics, and you will have to live with this implant if you decide to go forward with the surgery. That is not a decision for your mother and I to make.”

The younger Alenko glanced away. “They say it will help control my biotics more, help me use them more efficiently…”

“Yes, but you’re smart, Kaidan. You get that from your mother. You want to see the data. That’s why she’s finding every scrap of information she can for you. You think just alike. I know you’ll make the right decision for you without giving into the pressure from everyone else.”

“You won’t be mad if I—"

“Kaidan, we’ll support whatever you decide. You _know_ that. Don’t second guess yourself. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll be okay. Your mother and I will always be here for you. No matter what.”

~~~~~

_The blue skies we wait on  
Are gonna have to come after the rain_

_Old mistakes committed upon us  
Always take a toll on the conscience  
Every regret is a gift that you live with  
Never forget to remember forgiveness_

He was only seventeen and he already had a heartache and a death he was responsible for on his hands. Even though the fight in defense of another was justified in that instance, he had still killed someone. He’d killed someone and lost the first girl he thought he’d loved. She knew what he had done had quite possibly saved her, but she still said it wasn’t right.

Kaidan leaned against the railing of his parents high-rise apartment looking over the sprawling city of Vancouver that blurred into Seattle in the distance. It was a familiar sight. Nothing like what he had endured on Jump Zero. Still it felt wrong to be back. He didn’t know where he belonged any more. A little over six months away, toiling under the taskmaster Vyrnnus was had taken a toll on the young man. He’d been protective of Rahna from the start, friends even. He had hoped maybe after Jump Zero they could have been more. Now there was no chance of that. She was gone as was any hope of choosing his own path

He had elected to undergo the L2 implant surgery and chosen to enroll in BAAT. His parents true to their word had let him have the choice and supported him. But now? He had killed someone. He had used his biotics and the lessons he’d learn from Aikido to protect Rahna and ended up killing their instructor. The security officers that had escorted him to the shuttle for Earth had even called him a killer. How could anyone come back from that?

“Thought I might find you out here,” his father’s voice called from behind him.

Kaidan heard him walked up beside him as he continued to look out over Vancouver towards the ocean.

“Beer?”

“Thanks, Dad,” the young biotic muttered as Gavin came to stand beside him, the sun setting before them.

As Kaidan accepted the beer, his father said, “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were. And besides…you learned an important lesson.”

Kaidan turned to regard his father skeptically as he leaned his back against the railing. Fiddling with the beer, he asked, “And that would be?”

“Even the right choices have consequences.”

The younger Alenko looked dejectedly at his beer. “I’m not sure that makes me feel any better.”

Gavin took a swig of his own beer. “It wasn’t meant to. But it’s something to remember next time.”

Kaidan shook his head. How could his father believe there would _be_ a next time? The instructor for Jump Zero was dead because of him. The whole program was slated to be shut down pending the findings of the investigation that was underway. Granted Vyrnnus had been wrong in the way he had conducted BAAT. Granted hiring a Turian merc to teach a bunch of teenage biotics wasn’t the best plan either. Granted their supposed teacher had hurt Shelby and Rahna. Granted he had sliced Kaidan with a combat knife. It still didn’t make his death feel justified…

Kaidan griped his right side where he’d been injured. It still ached a month later. “Not sure about a ‘next time.’ I messed this one up pretty bad.”

His father gave him that knowing smile. “Son, if there’s one thing I’d put money on, it’s that you’ll have a next time. And it’ll be bigger than you can imagine.”

The engines of an Alliance ship roared overhead, traveling towards the spaceport. Kaidan glanced up to watch it’s retreating silhouette. “I hope you’re right, Dad.”

Kaidan felt a smile pull at his lips. Maybe he could still have a future. One of his own choosing. Maybe as usual his dad was correct.

“I hope you’re right.”

~~~~~

_Everybody says that life takes patience  
But nobody wants to wait  
Everybody says we need salvation  
But nobody wants to be saved  
The light in the tunnel is just another runaway train  
The blue skies we wait on  
Are gonna have to come after the rain_

He was 22. A little late to join the Alliance some said. A last resort for a biotics, especially an L2 others said. There were a few that thought it was an acceptable way to prove that biotics could be integrated into normal human society. To his parents, he was following in his father’s footsteps and finding his own way. To Kaidan, he was finally seeing things how they really were.

After Jump Zero and everything that had happened there, he had spent the rest of what would have been his senior year in high school taking classes remotely. He invested heavily into working on his hobby—tech. He had always had an interest in taking things apart and putting them back together. A knack neither of his parents had but something they encouraged and supported as with everything he did. He’d even been able to earn some certificates through a local university remote learning program. It helped distract him from what had occurred earlier that year and the uncertainty he felt as a result.

After he’d turned 18, he still lived with his parents which enabled him to take some jobs requiring the certifications he had earned. Tackling software problems for small companies based in the Vancouver area and then later some larger ones halfway across the globe. Eventually he had even attracted the attention of the Alliance. They had asked him to take a look at a few low security level software packages, mostly for things that eventually civilians would have access to. At one point he’d gotten a thank you letter from Admiral Steven Hackett for fixing a software glitch in the environmental program of his personal ship. Apparently, no one else had thought of the answer. His dad had said Hackett was not easily impressed and a personal response meant something.

Kaidan shook off the thought that an Admiral would really think too much of a 19-year-old and instead decided it was time to leave the nest. With the money he’d saved up, he left Vancouver, traveling the globe, taking odd jobs to support himself. He gained a reputation as a skilled trouble shooter and earned a long list of references. All the while he made sure to keep a low profile with his biotics. He never gave them up, but those abilities would not determine his future.

After a little over a year of wandering, Kaidan returned to the Vancouver area, using the savings he had accumulated to buy a plot of land up in the North Shore mountains north of the city. There he built a cabin by hand. It was during that time that he continued to practice the aikido he had begun so long ago. He had nearly achieved the highest degree black belt a person could before Brain Camp. He had given up the practice after Jump Zero, believing it was an injustice to continue the martial art that had once brought him peace and control.

The solitude of the mountains as his cabin slowly rose from a few logs to an actual building helped to put things into perspective. Actions had consequences. He knew that. Even things one did innocently, such as his mother visiting family in Singapore. She had no idea that visit would end with her son becoming a biotics. When he had defended his friend at the age of 7 from a bully, he had no idea his biotics would flare for the first time. At 17, he had no reason to believe that going to Jump Zero would have ended with the death of his instructor. His dad had been correct. Even right choices had consequences. How you reacted to those choices and consequences would determine what kind of life you had afterward.

Now he had completed his aikido training to its fullest potential, using it once again to help control his biotics. He learned to incorporate its teachings and practices into his biotic exercises. He had learned to do things _his_ way. On his own terms as his mother was fond of saying. She was correct as his dad so often noted. With his list of certifications for just about anything to do with tech, his list of freelance contracts, and his references, he felt it was time to move on. His cabin now complete he had a place to call his own when he needed solitude. He had his own method for practicing his biotics. He was his own person. The only question was: where did he go now?

That answer had come to him in the form of a message from Admiral Hackett. All these years later the man still remembered him. Kaidan secretly wondered if his father had anything to do with it. Regardless, the Admiral had inquired about Kaidan’s future plans. Citing that the Alliance could always use a talented tech and skilled biotic. After weeks of considering the suggestion and talking with his parents, Kaidan had decided to join the Alliance. He still remembered the Alliance ship passing overhead as his dad told him there would be a next time. The day after Jump Zero had been the start of his new path. Now as a cadet in the military, he hoped his dad had been right. He hoped that this time _was_ his next time.

And as he had learned the hard way, the best things often came from learning a hard lesson. Just like blue skies coming after the rain.

~~~~~

_Gonna have to come after the rain (rain, yeah)  
Gonnaw have to come after the rain (rain)  
Rain, yeah  
Rain, yeah  
Gonna have to come after the rain_

**_Teach me. Make me a stronger, better biotic and in the process maybe show me how this patience thing works and when to use it._ **

_Those had been Kori’s words weeks ago after Shepard had dressed her down for getting hurt on a ground mission when it could have been prevented. By all accounts, the Commander would have been well within his rights to bust her back down to ensign and write up for a disciplinary referral. It wouldn’t have been the first on the L3’s record. But instead, Shepard had come to Kaidan with an idea. He asked if the L2 could work with her on her biotics and her patience. Apparently the Lt.’s opinion carried more weight than he had initially thought with his CO. Was it possible that Shepard also knew about his feelings for Reese?_

_Whatever the reasoning for Shepard’s request, Kaidan had agreed and began with giving her a piece of his mind. In the end, she had asked him to train her. Another biotic wanted him to train her. One that hated her biotics and had a knack for being impulsively stupid sometimes. It was a challenge. Most of the time he liked challenges but this time it involved a person he had come to care about against regs. He shouldn’t even be thinking about her like that let alone engaging in a secret relationship with her. Sure they were all under pressure on the mission to stop Saren and the Geth but that was no excuse._

_He watched as Lt. Kora Reese repeated the stances and positions he had shown her, her biotics flaring around her in a purplish hue. He had blocked off the Normandy’s gym for an hour at Shepard’s suggestion. During the weeks since she had been shot by Cerberus troops, he had started out slow, showing her the basics. It reminded him of his first aikido lessons as a child just without the biotics._

_Maybe eventually he’d show her more advanced techniques but for now encouraging her to feel her biotics as she moved rather than forcing them to activate was his goal. Showing her that patience with her biotics would in the end serve her better than hating them. He hoped she would come to accept them as a part of her and would no longer allow them to control her._

_Reese finished the first set of exercises and powered down her biotics as she turned to look at him with a smirk. “Enjoying the view, Lt.?”_

_He felt a smirk of his own tug at his lips as he replied, “Always, Lt.”_

She gave him a look as she crossed her arms. “Are you going to just watch me or are you going to show me more stuff?”

He tilted his head. He had never truly pictured himself a teacher, instructing anyone in how to control their biotics. Yet here is was aboard the Alliance’s most advanced war ship, showing the woman who he had come to care about greatly, how to control her biotics instead of those abilities controlling her.

“I could show you more _stuff_ as you say but why don’t we practice that exercise one more time _together_ ,” he offered as he walked towards her.

“Why? I thought I did it right.”

“You did,” he confirmed. “I just thought you might want to get used to working with someone else using their biotics.”

As they took up the beginning position, Reese stated matter-of-factly, “I’m already used to your biotics, Kaidan.”

She began the exercise as he paused, her admission catching him off guard. No one had ever said they were used to his biotics before. Each biotic gave off their own unique energy. It was how he intuitively knew someone was a biotic without being told or seeing their amp.

He blinked and quickly caught up with her, flaring his own blue biotics as he mimicked her movements. Blue and purple fields glowing within inches of each other but never sparking or resisting each other. It was as if their biotics were also in synch not just their movements. He had never experienced that before. With other biotics he had worked with, there was always a spark of resistance when they were in close proximity to one another. With Reese there was none…

He smiled to himself. 15 years after Brain Camp he was teaching another biotic how to better control their abilities. He was the head of the Marine detachment on the Alliance’s most advanced war ship. He was a highly decorated officer in his own right. He was a model biotic for the Alliance, and he was one of the most sought after tech officers to boot.

At 17, he would never have believed he could have achieved any of that after Jump Zero even with what his father had told him. Yet once again his dad had been right. _This_ next time was bigger and better.

And he had achieved it on his own terms.

His whiskey colored eyes fell upon the woman in front of him. If he could teach her just a little bit of what he’d learned since Jump Zero, maybe he could help other biotics. The Alliance Ascension program was a start but maybe he could do something to contribute. To teach kids how to control their biotics the _right_ way.

Either way, it would have to wait until after the mission to stop Saren. He had lots of things to keep him busy in the meantime. He’d learned some hard lessons but maybe just maybe things were finally looking up and he could have a future on his own term.

Maybe…

**Author's Note:**

> Happy N7 Day 2020!


End file.
